after last seen her 10 days ago, i finally got to meet her when i came to work after my LNY's holidays.
it has been a long, long, long 10 days that we have not seen each other.
i could remember that we had a pleasant breakfast in the morning.
never we felt so good before.
still, i would like to see her how is she doing all these while.
is she okay? is she coping well?
there are so many questions i like to ask her.
i have heard it was busy on her night shift, and that could divert her attention to work.
for us, i have so free and have been thinking all these days.
i have also lost weight too.
people commented that i have not only lost weight but also there are so many white hairs.
the separation has been hard on me.
the first meeting is extremly important and i could see how our relationships are.
so, i have been waiting for these while for my precious 1st meeting.
alas.
i did see her at her normal place,but..
she did not give me any chance to speak to her. no chance at all.
furthermore, she was moody, full of worries.
that was unlike her usual self, being jovial and cheerful.
for the first time, i have not seen her smile.
it was heart aching and i did not dare anyhow to approach her.
i was waiting for a chance, waiting for the right moment.
i saw her colleague went in the rest room, and she also went in as well.
that was the only chance i have and i seized it, knowing well it will be gone forever.
i took this tiny opportunity when she went to the rest room to speak to her colleague.
we opened the door, and walked straight to the room, and wished her happy new year.
i reached out my hand and shook her hand.
i still have the same feelings and i could feel that she also think of me, too.
the same old feeling when we are together.
she waved me off and i shook hands with her colleague.
an i quietly walked out the room andback to our work.
it is perfectly clear that our relationship has ended.
she did not like to be hurt again and her precious kids as well.
i shall not see or speak to her the way i used to have.
no more playing with her hands and hersilk hairs, joked with her.
it has been hurting for both of us,as she like to break off her relationships with her two boyfriends but could not. they needed her too.
they also could not bear to part with her.
for me, i loved her so much that i have to let go.
it has been only a week, but for me, it was more like a year.
when i thought of her, i could not help crying, but have to hold back my tears.
i have to let it all go and move on.
alas.