happy new year 2015

keep your mouth shut

2013- a year to be remember

2013.
2013 was the year that i would remember for life.
it was the year that we might have lost our job.
yes, indeed, it was not in my mind when i went through the same scene over and over.
indeed, it did cross my mind once but i chose to ignore it and thus the consequences which affected everyone of us.
i counted myself fortunate in this process and vowed not to commit the same mistakes.

wife

life alone

think that i will be alone for a long while

life

life

thank God

it has been a year since the incident which had come to past.
there is no way we could not deny.
we have to accept it so that our heart will be at peace.
in this way, we could let ourselves go and move on.
indeed, it was terrible but tough two weeks then.

and we have to thank god for what he has done for us.

keep your mouth shut

cherish every moment

God please help me

the management is blind

wrong

i have done many wrong things in my life and i truly regret.
alas.
not only i was the one affected but my immediate family too.
alas.

freedom

wrong

i felt that i have done many wrong things to mother and  may need some quick fix to the situations.

smile

mistakes

stubborn

sometimes i did not listen: i am too stubborn

happiness

wake up from the dream

the end

mistakes in writing and she said that we are no more friends.
alas.
i cried and knew that she is gone forever

let ourselves go and move on

it was another heartache

it was another heartache as i fell in love with one myanmar nurse at st luke hospital and the whole scene was the exact copy when she met her husband 4 years ago.
she has a two-year son and soon she will be pregnant again.
i simply overwhelmed by her eternal love for the past 8 weeks.

well, it will take me another 3-4 months to heal myself.

dear Pale...the letter which cannot be send..

23^rd April 2014

Dear Pale,

Never in my mind that I have has thought that it come to past.

I assumed that it would be just a short stay of 4 weeks when we first arrived on 7^th march 2014 and rehabilitation so that mother could walk and go home after the recent fall.

It was just a thought, a very simple thought, really.

Never in will it cross my mind that I have expected had it happened to me: falling in love with you.

Seriously, I did not expected to happen in the first place and I also did not truly know how it come about, too.

I just simply do not know.

Or maybe it was just me.

But I do remember the time I fell in love the same old feelings was there: love and pain at the same time together and the yearning and longing to see you.

There is a period of time where I did not get to meet you that I missed you very badly indeed. Although it was just 9 days, to me it was a very long time like 100 years.

Then I realize that I have fallen madly in love with you.

However, I do know that you are married with a loving husband and has two-year son and soon you will be pregnant. You have a good family.

I have to stop myself from falling in love with you: it was not right.

So, here I am, wishes all the best for you, your husband and your family.

Take good care.

Yours truly,

Song

heartache

5 more days and we will be parting.

alas. we will miss you indeed.

i miss you so much

after 9 days, i finally saw you and it was a century to me.
oh, how i missed you so much.
i shook my head in disbelief: i fall in love, yet again.
and i have to pull myself out as i knew that it will a never-ending story.
i have to let myself go.

tears

oh how i love you

i told myself to let go of her, but my heart said another thing:
oh, how i miss you.
oh, how i love you.

well, i have to let myself go and move on.

the last e-mail

the last e-mail from brother's company as he was being retrenched.
i sent the last e-mail and knew that that day he has sent his last e-mail to me.
i have been texting him messages and suddenly it was gone.
i always asked for advice and now i have to depend on myself.

i love u

tears

mistake

i have made a serious mistakes in hiring a inexperienced myanmar maid who did not have any experiences.
our dearest mother fell twice in the kitchen and i sent her away on 9th march 2014.
now her work permit was cancelled and was being transferred to new employer brought much relief to me.
i have spent S$619 for her and in the end, it was a disastrous decision.
alas.

fighting and more fighting

fighting and more fighting until i gave up.
i surrender.

surrender

strength

do not give up that easily

i'm so sorry

cherish

sorry for what i have done

giving up

at times, we will never give up, but this time, we have to give up.