in love with you, yet again

just for a second i want to close my eyes and bring me back to those days that all i do is dream how my life will be.

just for a second i want to escape from this reality.

What's on my Mind??

...only emptiness.

friend

picture perfect

Chekwa, Are You?

Ms. Shelly

Chekwa. Like the word Intsik, Chekwa is considered a pejorative term to connote a weird, provincial and scary Chinese of old. So imagine how flabbergasted I was when in a middle of a conversation with friends one day, a guy I considered as nice and sensitive suddenly blurted out the word “Chekwa!” It hit me like a ton of bricks.



The last time I heard the term was when my younger brother berated me like somebody fresh off the boat (referring to the spate of new Chinese immigrants to the Philippines). What can I do, I said, when the clothes I found to be nice and affordable at the Tutuban Center all happened to be made in China?



But the Chinese in the olden days had to endure more than being checkwa. Filipino children chanting "Intsik! Intsik Beho!" or "Kain Lugaw!" (congee eaters and, therefore, weak in the knees) used to throw firecrackers in their path. A number of our hardworking forebears, who eked out a living by pushing wooden pushcarts to collect recyclable materials or deliver plywood and lumber within short distances (in the absence of pedicabs then), had to suffer the policemen’s batons banging against their pushcarts with accompanying threats of bodily harm when they stopped the rest in no-parking zones.



These had left scars on their psyche. A number of Chinese refused to assert their rights despite the abuses heaped on them for fear of creating a scene and becoming the subject of racial castigation. One of them was my grandmother.



My grandmother, who was then still residing in a town up north, was at her favorite dressmaker’s place when the latter’s arrogant and racist son uttered something objectionable. He and my grandmother were soon locked in a verbal tussle that unfortunately ended with him bashing her on the head with a drinking glass. With the help of the horrified dressmaker and her daughter, my grandmother, all bloodied, managed to call for a kalesa (horse-drawn carriage). Enroute to the hospital, she had the presence of mind to stop by my grandfather’s place of work to inform him of her whereabouts. The police jailed the culprit, but my grandmother did not press charges on account of her dressmaker’s pleas.



It wasn’t until the mid 1970s when Marcos opened up foreign relations with China that people began to see the Chinese in a different light.



We like to think that we have come a long way from the Chinese immigrants of old, who probably annoyed the locals then by their strange language, manner of extracting their nasal blockages and habit of raising one leg while eating in roadside cafes. Yet have we really? I cringe every time I chance upon the column of Erwin Tulfo in a tabloid, and I’m reminded of the precarious state I am in in Philippine society every time I hear Noli de Castro spit out the word Intsik on TV. But I console myself that these two men don’t represent the entire Filipino population? Or do they?



At a personal level, the worst discrimination I have ever experienced were being refused a bus ride in 1994 and hearing “Ching-a, chong-a!” years ago from teenagers when they heard me speak Hokkien while walking in the streets. Should I have turned and hit them inn the face like a younger brother and his friend did to two guys when the escalator reached the top floor inside a mall? Is that the right solution?



But haven’t many of us also been guilty of mimicking the way others speak? In high school, I found classmates who speak rapid-fire Cantonese loud and irritating, as opposed to our slower and milder Hokkien.



And if it turns out that those who don’t speak Chinese were the righteous ones, shall we all just stop using the easier (yup, easier, because the easiest I think would still be Tagalog) language that rolls off our tongue just to keep the peace?



Since it is known that Filipinos, even during the 19th century, have as much as 10 percent Chinese blood, is it “Hurray!” or “Yahoo!” then for those who have forgotten their Chinese roots because they’re now more Filipino than ever?



On confronted with the fact that we can speak a different language on top of the English and Tagalog of every Filipino, are we not different, i.e. not Filipinos, after all? Would we look at a new Chinese immigrant approaching and think, “Ah, here comes a Filipino” simply because he has a passport that says so?



And since we’re in the thick of this Tsinoy being a Tsinong Pinoy thing, just how Filipino are we anyway? With what kind of delusionary light should we view ourselves? I mean, isn’t it natural to think, “Ay, Bumbay” whenever we see an Indian doing his or her rounds of collection on 5-6 loans? In the same light, shouldn’t we be resigned to our fate upon hearing “Ah, Intsik” or in some instances, “Chekwa!” thrown our way?



As for that guy friend, after I fell silent and wrote messages to somebody else beside me to show my displeasure, he was immediately contrite and apologetic (genuinely or not I wouldn’t know), saying he himself looked a lot like a true blue Chinese, what with his sunken eyes and fair complexion, and thus had borne the brunt of hearing “Ching, chang, chong.” But that’s just my point, I said. Knowing yourself to be non-Chinese, you won’t feel the sting of discrimination attached to the word “Chekwa” or “Intsik”. It was sad, I realized only a friend with Chinese upbringing will never ever say that to me and mean it.



But then, is it possible that my friend is right; that I’ve made a mountain out of a molehill on a word that has long ago lost its derogatory meaning and is now used to simply mean “Chinese”?

Missing

Missing...

that's it.

too sick to mess my things

what comes around goes around

Nobody really said that life is fair....
but i believe in good will....
do unto others what others should do unto you....
be good and good things will come.....

i don't give a damn

i won't give a damn anymore!
im through with all the ungratefulness.
who cares!!!

today

today is my happiest day in my life..oh, yes!

happiness

i love my life,

i love people who surrounds me with love and gives me happiness=)

Mr Irrelevant

SENIOR Minister Goh Chok Tong last night called on Singaporeans to spin their own Singapore Dream and live it, rather than focus on what he termed the Singapore Gripe.

While gripes about current concerns such as floods, high home prices, crowded trains and distance-based bus fares were understandable, he urged people to not lose sight of the many more things which are going well for Singapore."
- Straits Times, 8 Aug 2010

Woody is no longer relevant because he is even worse than the Master he serves.

You know what, Singaporeans do learn from experience and you can fool them once but not twice.
Woody never learn from the lesson he got in the last GE when LTK won despite the goodies promised by Woody. He still thinks Singaporeans likes him. His promises were all blowing in the wind and what many policies he made, example, increasing the salaries of the ministers, are hurting the local citizens today.

The intakes of FTs and scholarships given to FTs all started during his watch.

Now he is spewing the 5Cs because that is all he knows, materialism, the alpha and the omega he lives by. This man has peanuts in his brains and totally out of touch with the aspirations of Singaporeans. He promised but cannot deliver because he does not know how. Let me get a quote from a comment made in another blog from Sir David Marshall in 1994:

"I've got nothing against money. I'd like to have money myself! I'd like to have a house and a garden and dogs and a car and a chauffeur but, look, I've got a flat. I've got a swimming pool attached to the flat. I've not even got a car but I use taxis. I have a dignified way of life without being wealthy.

I don't see the necessity of owning a Mercedes-Benz and a swimming pool and a couple of mistresses. I think we've got our values all wrong.

You know $96,000 a month for a Prime Minister and $60,000 a month for a minister.

What the hell do you do with all that money? You can't eat it! What do you do with it? Your children don't need all that money.

My children have had the best of education. In fact, I'm very proud of them. One of them is a senior registrar to two major hospitals in Oxford.
Another of them is a consultant in European law to the Securities and Investment Board in the United Kingdom. They've had their education. There are no complaints.

I never earned $60,000 a month or $90,000 a month. When I was Chief Minister, I earned $8,000 a month.
Look, what is happening today is we are encouraged to and are becoming worshippers of the Golden Calf.

We have lost sight of the joy and excitement of public service, helping our fellow men. The joy and excitement of seeking and understanding of the joy of the miracle of the living the duty and the grandeur. We have lost taste for heroic action in the service of our people.

We have become good bourgeois seeking comfort,peace and security.

It's like seeking a crystal coffin and being fed by intravenous injections through pipes in the crystal coffin; crystal coffins stuck with certificates of your pragmatic abilities."

This is a man, a leader, we can respect.

the thought counts

i opened my drawer.
found a box of ferrero,,
today is 17.
thanks for a box of chocolate.

although u know i don't eat still the thought counts,,

2,24,7,12

1+1=2 eyes look at u...

12+12=24 hours thinking about u...

3+4=7 days in week missing u...

1+11=12 months I always need A SWEET PERSON like U.

Observing, Reading And Seeing No Hope.

I am been staying in Singapore for sometimes and have seen its' developments, physical, political, social and all.

Reading almost all the social-political blogs since they started, there is only one conclusion that the people of Singapore never and could not be cohesive in any endeavors. They are all for themselves. Even the social-political netizens have never worked with one another.

There has never been any attempt by bloggers, their readers and commenters to gather themselves to forge a stronger, better alliance to make their activism more potent and more effective. The Cyber communities are carbon copy of the Opposition Political parties, splitted, individualistic even within their own parties and communities.

Some bloggers are obviously highly intellectual, professionally qualified and successful in their careers and lives. One cannot help sometimes to suspect that within their successes they are still looking for fames that they have yet to achieve. So here they are in Blogoland to get some of that.

Putting up discourses in the Net to get the limelights without showing the ability to work with fellow netizens expose the sincerities of these bloggers to work for the holistic improvements in the livings of the people.

Another observation is that, in whichever blogsites, there are always another group of participants as well endowed as the bloggers singing discording tunes.

All considered, Singaporeans are all out of place with their own people. They should not blame foreigners.

Observing, Reading And Seeing No Hope.

friend

different

Today,

in the ward,
someone asked me if she looked different.

I looked at her from head to foot and I saw her shoes.

It looked kinda different.
Then, it strucked me!

She was wearing shoes but of different pairs!

I had a good laugh!

Everyone did!

kiss in the rain

things a girl wished her guy knew..

When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.

When she misses you, she’s hurting inside.

When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers.

When she walks away from you mad, follow her.

When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.

When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don’t let her go.

When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.

When she ignores you, give her your attention.

When she pulls away, pull her back.

When you see her at her worst, tell her she’s beautiful.

When you see her crying, just hold her and don’t say a word.

When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.


When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.

When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.

When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.

When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.

When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.

When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.


When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.

When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.

Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.

Don’t let her have the last word.



Argue that she is the best girl ever.

When she’s mad, hug her tight and don’t let go.

When she says she’s OK, don’t believe it, talk to her about it, because 10 yrs later she’ll still remember it.

Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.

Treat her like she’s all that matters to you.

Don’t ignore her when she’s out with you and your friends.

Stay up all night with her when she’s sick.

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.



Let her know she’s important.

Kiss her in the pouring rain.

i love you

It takes three seconds to say I love you,
three minutes to explain,
three hours to demonstrate,
three days to appreciate,
three terms to produce it,
but a lifetime to prove it.

falling in love..again

The best thing about me is you.
I'll never be the same again,,,if we ever meet again

live life to the fullest

Personal experience: easy come easy go, hard come hard go. I'm 4 yr to 50 yr old. $ is just like a gust of wind, comes and goes from and to nowhere, makes one wondering "what's going on".

Willing to share my "history":
- I earned $2/hr during poly's holiday, many many yr back.
- "Earned" $90/mnth as CPL as fulltime national service.
- Starting pay $650/mnth, after ROD from army
- 3 months before ROD, bought a 2nd hand "Honda Rider" for 2k. Minor accidents here & there. Gave up motorcycle after being sent to hospital by ambulan 2yrs later.
- $1064 in 1984 while joining MRTC....
-Married in 1993, borrowed 18K from granny's "coffin money" for reno & some stuff. Earned and cleared within a yr.
- Got a 5rm hdb in Sept 1992, for 124K, cleared loan 6 yrs later, all cpf. Sold for 450k in 2007.
-First boy come to world in 1995, now in RI sec 3.
- Bought my 1st 2nd hand "Toyata Starlet" for 21k in 1996.
- Girl come to world in 1997, same day she came, first time car accident - knock by ppl. She now in sec 1, Bedok Green.
- Cars keep changing from Mitshibishi Lancer/Kia 7 seater/Mitshibishi/now Toyota.
- Bought a 3 bedrm in Baywater, cleared loan within a yr. Stayed for 3.2 yr. Bought at 616k in 2005July, sold for 850k in Sept 2009.
- Business travel......."take plane like taking bus" - wife quoted, > 20 countries. See snow, sun rise/set on offshore platforms, sand storm in Egype, warded in Korean hospital, housefly bigger than thumb in Brazil jungle, swimming in yellow sea,......many many unforgetteble...
- Enough is enough, switched job.....no more travel! That was 7 yrs ago.
- Now as a small & humble manager, 6K+/mnth salary.
- 80k loan ,out of 528k, yet to clear, after another 10 months.
- Car loan 24k, can clear anytime, but do not wish to.
- Abt 200K in stock mkt "in" and "out". Average can "make" 2k~3k/mnth. Last yr recorded 36k income from Feb to Sept. Stopped from end Sept 2009 ~ feb 2010, for resale house & reno.
- Back to market again Mar 2010, till now already made abt 14K.
- Enjoy hobbies whenever has time, with wife & children.

$ comes & goes like gust of wind, be contented. No start & no end. But we come from dust & will go to dust. Get wisdom - $ cannot but, worth to spend time & efforts to "chase after".

Technically possible.
- Car is sure "wasting money"- need not to be big & branded, so long as to transport u here & there can already. Petrol/insurance/parts replacement are going upwards, roadtax heads east for a few years.
- Condo, paying $370/mnth for maintenance fee, bbq, swimming, carpark, tennis, security...Personally concluded "not worth" after staying 3 years in Baywater. Higher living standard always need to pay more, this rule applies to all.
- Learnt 1 important rule/fact here to make more $$$: make your first $100k cash first, whether by saving, selling....
- "Learn" to invest yourself, test your judgement....be prepared to pay "expensive school fee".
- My experience :coverted SGD to USD, earned interests every 3 months, rate kept dropping (loss $), convert USD to SGD then to NZD, earned high interest and gained capital gain! But now no more such lobangs. Waiting for RMB to float.
-Standby for rainy days - get a taxi license or swimming instructor cert, be a part time real estate agent to gain experence....Insurance agent needs to talks a lot, right segment.......
- Need financial planning, best equip with spreadsheet knowledge. Calculate yr annual income vs expense. Set target. Explore new income sources, always start from part time then full time...
- Must know the rule of breakeven, then u know where u stand..

Ugliness

Ugliness is superior to beauty because it lasts....

F word again:Foreign Talents in MNC

someone works in an MNC.
He commented recently that Singapore citizens are a rare breed at his workplace. In his extended team of about 30, there are Indians, British, Asian Americans and Malaysian Chinese, but

only 2 Singaporeans.

And one of the 2 is a contract worker!

This is not only limited to his extended team.
Throughout the office, spanning several floors in the building, he said

it’s hard to find more than a handful Singaporeans

in middle to senior positions.

why?

Quotas are only applicable to work permits and ‘S’ pass foreign workers

On the other hand, foreigners earning more than $2,500 hold employment passes. They are classified as “professionals” (as opposed to “skilled workers”). These foreign professionals are not subject to any quota.

This MOM reply to a query in ST says it all (boldface mine):

“Apart from the S-Pass, companies can also bring in foreign professionals, managers and executives on employment passes to meet their staffing needs.
There is no quota for Employment Pass holders. However the applicant must be paid a basic monthly salary of at least $2,500 and have acceptable qualifications.”

There is no quota.

If you run a company and pay more than $2,500 to each employee, you can have 100% foreigners in your company.

‘Local workforce’ refers to those full-time employees (Singapore citizens or permanent residents).”

So, technically, any company in Singapore can hire zero Singapore citizen and have foreigners as all its employees.