So you and your spouse or ex lover are no longer together.
Are you the type that lingers on licking on old wounds over and over again?
Or are you ready to accept the demise of the relationship and take life by the horns.
If you still are reliving the past then chances are you haven't accepted that your relationship is over and denial has grabbed on to you so hard that your vision has become distorted. It is very difficult and painful when a relationship ends.
Even though a relation may end, it doesn't mean that it is the end of the world or the end of you. But here are some tips for moving on when your relation has turned sour.
*Accept that the relationship is over.
Accepting that the relation has ended is probably the hardest thing to do.
It hurts very much to hear someone tell you they no longer want to be with you.
You can hardly believe what is happening. Denial sets in when you start to believe none of this is really happening. You may cry, scream, and even become angry. These emotions are normal and you need to go through them. But is is very important not to linger in denial, anger, and sadness to long.
A good way to dealing with the stress of breaking up is to talk about it. Talk to one of your close friends or a family member you can trust. But don't overload yourself or you friends with the break up. Overloading your friends with it will make them keep their distance from you. No one wants to hear the same thing over and over again. It also slows down the healing process. The best way to come to terms with something to face it and deal with it head on day by day. Accepting that its over will become easier everyday.
*Take responsibility for your part in the end of the relationship.
It's easy to blame your ex partner for all the things that went wrong in the relationship. But it is never any one person's fault. In order not to repeat the same mistakes , you have to learn what caused the problems in the first place. Ask yourself some very important questions. Is there something that you could of done differently? What would you do differently? Where you paying attention to those warning signs about your partner? Own up to your part in what went wrong in your relationship.It's important to learn from your past experience. It makes you a wiser and maturer person.
*Forgive yourself and your ex partner.
Even if your ex partner was the worse person in the world, you have to forgive him or her. Forgiveness is not for the other person,it's for yourself. Forgiveness helps you to let go of the hurt and anguish that was caused by your partner. It frees you from holding on to things you need to discard. It doesn't make you forget those things that took place, but it does become easier when you release the baggage. We all do things we regret. Even if you did some things in your relation that caused it to fail, you have to forgive yourselves as well. We all make mistakes. We have to accept our mistakes and own up to them before the forgiveness process can even begin. You cannot heal if you continue to beat yourself up over something you cannot change. Learn to be forgive.
*Give yourself time to heal.
There is a saying. Time heals all wounds. But you have to allow it to. Don't make the mistake and jump into an new relationship too soon or spend to much time being angry and depressed over what took place.
Allow yourself time to heal from the break up.
Use your time to reevaluate and nourish your mind, body and spirit. Breaks ups can take a lot on you. Take time out for yourself and get to know who you really are. Once you stop blaming yourself for what happened, you will realize that everything happens for a reason. Time marches on and wounds do heal.
No one said a breaking up was easy or that healing is a fast process. But it will happen if you allow it to. Take one day at a time and you will see a new horizon ahead. If you need to seek professional help, take that step. There nothing wrong with that. You can find support in your friends and family if you need it.
What is important is you get through your ordeal healthy and you've learned something. Moving on will get easier from day to day.